I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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