I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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