OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize