I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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