I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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