Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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