I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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