we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
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