I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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