i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize