I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize