She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
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She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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