It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I need a burrito and a hug.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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