I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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