he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
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So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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