So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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