she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
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The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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