idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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