I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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