I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize