U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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