So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
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He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
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you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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