omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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