trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
the raccoons are back...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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