Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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