i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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