are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize