My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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