I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
this hospital has no fireball
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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