He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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