omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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