apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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