i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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