I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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