Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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