I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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