I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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