i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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