ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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