I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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