one word: firstdatebathroomanal
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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