I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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