im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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