If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize