Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
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The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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