i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
After last night, I could never be a politician.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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