The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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