I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize