Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize