It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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